HOW I STARTED IN DELIVERANCE MINISTRY
It was mid-August, and my wedding was only a couple of weeks away. I was also gearing up to start the first year of the brand-new Bible college at our church. My (now) husband and I were at a Sunday service when he began to experience something strange and painful. One of his eyes started to drift out to the side involuntarily, the left side of his body seemed to be dragging and drooping, and he had excruciating pain in his neck and head. We had no idea what was happening so he went to the emergency room where they could see something was clearly wrong and they ran a litany of tests. These tests provided no answers. So, they referred him to a neurologist. In the meantime, we reached out to the church to ask for prayer. After receiving prayer in person and over the phone, along with an unfruitful trip to the neurologist, my husband was referred to a local prayer minister.
A few days later, just a week before our wedding date and after filling out a several-page-long form, we drove together to the prayer minister’s house. The session was slated to be three hours long, which seemed daunting going into it. The minister and her husband were warm and welcoming and had a comforting air to them. We became friends quickly and felt at ease through the rest of the session. The session, however, was not what either of us expected. It was a combination of conversation, interview-style questions, prayer, decrees and declarations, and “prophetic acts, signs and wonders”. By the end of the session, we were both stunned and feeling strangely drawn to whatever just happened. Because whatever it was worked. My husband was cured from the physical afflictions that ailed him when we walked in. But we still didn’t know exactly what those afflictions were or how they were healed.
The whole situation is still a mystery to me. And there are two things that I come back to every time I think about it. One is that all of the tests done by the hospital and the neurologist came back normal, even though they could clearly see that something wasn’t right. (The neurologist confirmed that with some of the tests but still had no answers for the cause.) The second thing was a completely unexpected moment that happened during the ministry session. While we were in the session, I had a sudden urge to disclose the fact that Joseph Smith (the founder of the Mormon religion) is an ancestor of mine. I suppressed the urge and remained silent, but within a couple of minutes, the minister’s husband stopped the session and asked me if there was something in my family line that I wanted to include. When I told them about my family line, it was decided that I should recite the prayers and declarations as well.
I still don’t have explanations for what happened during this ministry session that I later came to know and understand as a deliverance or inner healing session, rather than a simple prayer ministry time. What I do know is that much of what happened in that room that day was not biblical. I have intentionally not included a lot of detail here because it wasn’t biblical, and it wouldn’t be helpful for anyone reading this. I have suspicions of what I think may have really happened and why it may have worked for my husband, but those aren’t relevant to this post as they are just suspicions and speculations and cannot be shown 100% true factually or biblically. But the mystery was part of what drew me in to eventually decide to become a deliverance minister myself.
That same week, I started at the Bible college, and we got married the following weekend. Everything was back to normal… mostly. I’d been infected with a curious bug, wanting to know more about what had happened in that session and how I could experience more. I wanted more than the words in scripture. More of the prophetic, more signs and wonders, more of the miraculous, more supernatural experiences. And to my delight, we soon found out in the college that these things would not only be part of our education, but that we would also all be required to go to our own deliverance ministry session as part of the curriculum. I couldn’t wait!
I finished up my degree and had become an intern for the college at some point in the second half of the year. Over the summer, I was still volunteering for the college director, helping her get ready for the following year’s incoming students when I received a job offer to begin working for the church/college as the assistant director. I accepted the offer the next day after discussing it with my husband. Prior to the school year starting, it was decided that we would need more deliverance ministers and prayer partners for the upcoming college students and a training was scheduled. I had gone through multiple sessions of my own at that point and was asked if I would be trained to become a minister. The paid training included several weeks of weekly training sessions going through video teachings, a textbook, workbook and practicing methods with classmates, and ended with a three-day activation seminar of learning from trainers and practice sessions with classmates while being observed by the trainers.
During the activation seminar, I was chosen to be the “Ralph”, or deliverance receiver (I would be receiving ministry for myself in front of the class), for the trainers to teach through each portion of the ministry with a real deliverance session. While this was scary and took a good amount of vulnerability, it also felt like a of badge of honor to be chosen for at the time. I remember vividly the horribly blasphemous way that I thought I was seeing Jesus in the sozo portion of the session. As if He was a superhero ripping a fence out of a portion of my childhood memories. It’s grieving to look back at how flippantly an “encounter with Jesus” was treated by not only me, but also by the ministry trainers.
In a somewhat funny turn of events, during the practice sessions with my classmates, I didn’t do very well as a minister. Ha! I remember thinking that everyone else must be hearing/seeing things more clearly from God than I was, as we were encouraged to practice “dual listening”. A technique that was supposed to include listening to the ministry receiver and the Holy Spirit at the same time. Even though, I didn’t think I was good at being a minister, I was given a certificate of completion along with everyone else in the activation seminar, giving me permission to begin practicing deliverance ministry under the umbrella of that specific deliverance ministry. During most sessions that I participated in going forward, I usually sat in as a listener or prayer partner, taking notes, praying, and offering insights as I had them. I did lead several sessions eventually but never felt truly comfortable as the primary minister.
HOW I LEFT DELIVERANCE MINISTRY
After several years in this movement, I’m so grateful that God led me out of and away from deliverance ministry. He used scripture, specifically Galatians 5:19-21 (“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”) as well as some sound teachers to help show me what was wrong with that practice, including Dawn Hill (LoveSick Scribe) and those in the American Gospel documentaries.
As God opened my eyes more and more, it was a surprising relief to know that I didn’t need to chase down demons and generational curses and word curses for deliverance. Jesus already delivered me once for all time from the curses of sin and darkness. I can rest in that promise and deliverance, rather than trying to work toward “greater salvation” in my walk with the Lord. And, while it initially seemed like a good thing not to have to take accountability for my own sins, but to blame them on the demonic, it proved more burdensome to constantly try to find the root of my struggles. Scripture is clear. Our struggles are a result of our sins, our sin nature, and living in a fallen world, and we are not promised that we will be free from them in this world. However, we are promised that if we are in Christ, we have something better to look ahead to on the other side of eternity. And in the meantime, we are given a comforter in the Holy Spirit, and fellowship with other believers who will grieve with us when we grieve and rejoice with us when we rejoice. It’s a much more beautiful reality living in the ordinary and seeing the extraordinary work of God through the love of those around us and the peace and joy of God within us.
I did do an interview with my friend, LeaFiore on the Take Me to Eternity podcast at the end of 2023 discussing more of that part of my journey, and I encourage you to go listen to that if you’ve made it this far. In that interview I covered more of the philosophy and theology included in and practiced by the deliverance ministry movement. I wrote this post because I’ve been asked numerous times to share more about my time specifically with deliverance ministry. This seemed like the best way to start explaining how I was deceived/deceived myself into this type of ministry years ago. I expect that this post will be one of many detailing pieces of my time and beliefs around the charismatic, seeker-sensitive, word of faith, prosperity and deliverance movements. If you have questions about deliverance ministry or are looking for some sound resources on this topic, please feel free to reach out to me or leave a comment below.
Blessings,
Robin 💜
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